Do You Have a Bird’s Eye or a Worm’s Eye Perspective About Life and Your Marriage?

Only you can choose whether you will focus on all that you have and are grateful for or if you will only see the things that are eating you.

Recently I attended a work meeting, and one of my co-workers made a reference to a “worm’s eye” view of what we were focusing on. At first I thought, “A worm’s eye view? Who says that?” and then I realized what an incredible analogy it would also give for life and our marriage.

There is much to be grateful for, and the good news is that, at least for the 99.9% of us, we each can decide what kind of perspective we will have toward life and our spouse. Do we take the example of the bird, and see all that is in our “nest” of living, or are we more like the worm in the nest who can only focus on what is literally eating him alive?

Our perspectives literally shape our day, our relationships, our lives, and our marriages. This doesn’t mean that, like Peter Pan, we just think “happy thoughts” and we’ll all magically fly, but it does mean that we decide how (1) we want to interpret our experiences, thereby (2) determining how those events will affect us and those we love.

The next time you start to feel frustrated that you don’t have—or that your spouse isn’t—such-and-such, ask yourself, “Am I a bird or a worm?”   Are you aware of all that you have in life and in your marital nest, or is your time and energy centered on what’s eating you?

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