A betrayal of trust in relationships

A betrayal of trust is one of the hardest things to overcome.

“Loss” of any kind is difficult and usually very painful. Fortunately, relationships help comfort, guide, and encourage us during moments of loss. But what happens when loss occurs within the relationship via a betrayal of trust?

There is a difference between trust in relationships being tested and that same trust being betrayed. Each time trust is betrayed in a relationship, someone has gone “over the line” with their words or actions. Trust is a gift we give to someone who makes us feel safe, and when that trust is lost, the reason why we are so upset is because we no longer feel safe with that person. Because wanting to be safe is the most basic human need, a betrayal of trust cuts to the very core. Hope, confidence, and meaning are often shattered if the person who betrayed that trust was someone we allowed access to our hearts, privacy, money, and/or intimacy. A betrayal of trust is also painful because the act is essentially telling you that they do not value your gift, and they do not value you enough to keep you safe.

Often, the natural response to betrayal is to not want to trust (anyone) ever again. So why should we trust?

The simple answer is so that you can feel safe once again. If you have been betrayed, make a list of the things and people who help you feel safe. Do those things and be with those people as much as possible, and limit the time with activities and people who make you feel unsafe.

In my upcoming book, “Discover Your Potential: Creating Inner Strength After Loss,” I provide several tips for coping more effectively with loss, including a loss of a relationship. Do you have any other recommendations for helping a person feel safe after their trust is betrayed? Make sure you write them down below!

(Is your marriage “walking the line” with trust?  You might be interested in my previous book, Grow Your Marriage by Leaps and Boundaries. )

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